Monday, December 31, 2012
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Alias: Sadie Desmond
Origin: As an extension of his many perversions, the notorious Marquis De Sade had become interested in studying demonology in the early 1800s. Through a mystical spell, he managed to transform himself into a part-human, part-demonic being or "demonoid." However, because of a loop-hole in the spell, De Sade was then forced to work for the Devil, doing his dirty work on earth. Being an egomaniac, he eventually grew tired of serving his evil master and rebelled against him. Because of this, the devil imprisoned him in a cell in hell. But, many years later, by using another spell, De Sade managed to return to earth, briefly, in the modern United States. While there, De Sade made a deal with the Desmonds, a wealthy and famous couple who were in the process of going bankrupt. Using his demonoid powers, De Sade magically restored their financial status, on the condition that Catrina Desmond carry his child. The baby, when born, would also be a demonoid. Before being transported back to hell, he gave her the name Sateena (to piss off the Devil) and left the family with weaponry capable of hurting and destroying other demonic beings and instructions for the girl to follow. Once she became old enough, she was to use her weapons and powers to battle the devil's other earthbound demonoid forces. To the world at large, she appears as Sadie Desmond, party animal and promiscuous heiress, but when demonic forces threaten, she becomes Sateena De Sade, the baddest bad girl fighting for the forces of good!
Powers, abilities and weaponry: Sateena has the powers of other demonoids, like increased strength,the ability to use magic and produce fire. But these powers can't hurt other demonic beings. For that, she must use the weapons that her father stole from hell to give to her:The Tri-fork Blaster , a pitchfork shaped laser that can emit special anti-demon fire and other magical blasts, and the Whip of Woe,which she can crack to injure her enemies.
Weaknesses:Though she isn't evil herself, the fact that she is a demonic being(and the daughter of the Marquis De Sade) makes Sateena susceptible to certain evil impulses. She has streaks of sadism and the desire to torture along with perverse sexual cravings. She must control all this, to keep herself from crossing the line from good to bad.
Favorite kind of cake: Devil's food...get it!?
Favorite kind of ham: Honey Baked ( You thought I was going to say Deviled didn't you?)
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Real name: Frank Feinman
Occupation: Secret agent
Age: Frankenspy: 30. Hunchbat:Unknown
Origin: Agent Frank Feinman was a member of a secret government organization attempting to take down a terrorist group headed by Maximilian Shreek, a notorious vampire criminal. Frank was caught spying, and was torn limb from limb by a vicious monster, but, Hunch Bat, Shreek's diminutive half bat, half hunchback henchman, was actually a double agent. He secretly smuggled Frank's body parts back to the U.S Government, where they were reassembled by none other than Dr. Victor Frankenstein! Frankenstein, at this point, was just a disembodied brain, in a tank of water and chemicals, hooked up to a machine. He had been incarcerated by the Government for having created too many monsters. Now, to pay his debt to society, he was helping with the effort against monster-related crime. He could still create creatures by using his brain to power robotic arms to build them. When he reassembled Frank,he gave him the ability to transform from a beastly green "Frankenform" into a regular looking person. Now, a "Frankenspy," and with Hunchbat by his side, Frank will be the ultimate weapon against Maximilian Shreek and his monster mob!
Powers, abilities and weaponry: Frank has the ability to morph from his "Frankenform" to his human form by pushing the bolt on his temple, (hidden by a wig when he is in human form) In his Frankenform he has monster strength and his head antenna can broadcast mental messages to Dr. Frankenstein and Hunchbat. He can also remove limbs, and replace them with weapons, such as chainsaws, battle axes, laser rifles, etc. These attachments are often flown to him by Hunch Bat. When he removes his hand to replace it with a weapon, the hand can move on it's own and assist Frank, due to an extra mini-brain Dr. Frankenstein put in it.
Weaknesses: much like the original Franenstein monster, Frankenspy hates fire.
Least Favorite Type of Yogurt: Yoplait
Favorite Golden Girl: Dorothy (but he still hates that scene in the Star Wars Christmas Special with Bea Arthur)
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
Real Name: Eve McCavea
Occupation: Student, Cryptozoologist
Origin: On an expedition to Gargantuland, a legendary island where dinosaurs still live, Cryptozoology student Eva McCavea disovered a magic stone containing the spirit of her ancient ancestor, a courageous cave woman. Her ancestor had slain an evil wizard, using the stone as the tip of her spear. Upon coming into contact with the stone, Eve’s essense fused with the spirit of her ancestor's, transforming her into a super-powered prehistoric cave woman. The Troggs, a race of sasquatch-like humanoids, had foreseen this occurrence, and grafted the stone back onto the original spear. But the evil Wizard, Volconor, whom her ancestor had originally vanquished, had also risen again. With the power to raise dead dinosaurs, and control living ones, his goal was to take over the world! Now, whenever Volconor threatens, Eve must grasp the spear and transform into her spirit powered prime evil self to save the modern world from a dino-pocolypse!
Powers, abilities and weaponry: Eve wears a watch which can be used to communicate with the Troggs. When she says "it's Prime Time" into the watch, they use their technology to transport the spear to her wherever she is so she can transform. The magic spear gives her spirit energy, and makes her strong and able to fly. The spear/stone also projects rays, and force fields, which she can use to transport living dinosaurs back to Gargantuland where they can live safely.
Weaknesses: If she is too far away from the spear/stone she transforms back into regular Eve.
Least favorite type of yogurt: Dannon
Favorite Golden Girl: Sophia (because she is the oldest.)
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Real Name: Buckaroo Davey (born Buck Davidson)
Occupation: Ranch owner, singing cowboy, performer
Origin: Famous as the "world's toughest singing cowboy" Buckaroo Davey was also the owner of a cattle ranch. He was working there when an errant government exploder device accidentally crashed onto the property. The radioactive device had the power to melt flesh, but, for some reason, Davey's legendary toughness prevented him from dissolving completely. Instead, it seemed he was regenerating flesh as fast as it would drip off, leaving him in a state of constant "meltocity." Highly radioactive, and billing himself as "The Indelible Melting Cowboy," Davey retained his easy going good-natured demeanor after the transformation, but the government was less laid back about the situation. They dispatched special agents to investigate the effects of the exploder device, and the mystery of Davey's incredible regenerating flesh. Now, Melt (as he is known for short) has a different type of cattle on his radioactive ranch; monstrous, hideous insects.They are invaluable for scientific research, and so, he must protect them from the partially melted Dark Bark and his villainous band of crooked cattle rustling mutants, all of whom were wrought from odd side effects caused by the exploder device.
Powers, abilities and weaponry: Melt has super strength, a regenerating healing factor, and the ability to form objects out of pure concentrated radioactivity. (he uses this to form traditional wild west weapons like lassos and guns) He can also fire blasts of pure radiation.
Weaknesses: He looks like a big melty gross thing, and can't touch anyone for a prolonged period of time or else they too will melt.
Least favorite type of yogurt: The kind with the crumbly stuff you have to mix in
Favorite Golden Girl: Rose
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Occupation: singer guitarist, college student
Origin: Rocky Avalon was just a slacker punk, jammin' by the beach with his swinging combo and avoiding his college classes, until he began boinking the daughter of noted mad Fishologist Professor Zachary Arkoff (who was also secretly the masked pirate known as the Sea Skull). The rock n' roll hating Arkoff was attempting to create a race of subservient fish-men to help him destroy the music he despised and take over the world! He sent one of these mutants to kidnap Rocky so he could experiment on him, and keep him away from his daughter at the same time. The mutant brought Rocky to Arkoff's nefarious skull shaped submarine hideout/laboratory known as the "Skullmarine." There, the mad genius transformed the confused young man into the first ever human-porpoise hybrid. It had been an attempt to create a more intelligent fishapoid slave. But Arkoff was unable to control his new creation. Rocky's porpoise intellect, combined with his rebelliousness, and innate love for obnoxious music, won out. He escaped the Skullmarine and went back to playing with his band, who didn't seem to care that he was now a blue mutant guy. Neither did Crystal, (much to the consternation of Arkoff) Now, whenever the Sea Skull tries to poop the party, he has to deal with Rock N' Roll Porpoise Man! The ultimate hero of the beach!
Powers, abilities and weaponry: Rock has super intelligence, above average strength,can sing well
and plays a custom made"Six String Ray" laser guitar that can fire "power chords" with actual power.
Weaknesses: He needs to stay moist, and has to constantly drink beer, so his super intelligence doesn't get the best of him.
Favorite type of tuna: the kind with the mermaid on it.
Favorite Golden Girl: Blanche
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
*We may not have those.
*We may not have those.